Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Pirates Are the Coolest Part of Bonus Time

Arrrrrgh.

Somali pirates, I'm sure you've heard of them before. Basically one day they decided to stop sitting around and dying of famine all day, and take back from the rest of the world. And when they decided to take back they did so by sea, because that is how the world had taken from them, bringing disease, dumping toxic waste in their seas, and ravaging the fishy bounties of their waters for their own gain for years. Seems like the Somalians had simply had enough, or maybe one day one of them just realized that hey, it's Bonus Time.

The Somali pirates have recently made news headlines again for hijacking a Chinese freighter. This is bigger news than usual because lately warships from several nations, including the Chinese have upped their patrols in areas where the Somali pirates are known to strike. But like any good swashbuckling sea dogs, they laid in wait, and have once again struck.

And you know what? Good for them.

Most of the men who turn to piracy in Somalia were former fisherman. Because the country is so poor (almost 3/4 of the population lives on about $2 a day) they do not have a coast guard to stop foreign fishermen from coming in and taking their lively hood. So when the fishermen began to fight them off themselves, the next natural step for them was to turn to piracy.

There is also documentation of Somali pirates helping to revitalize poor seaside town's economies in Somalia. A rapid influx of cash from a ransom can quickly turn what was once a completely run down poor town into a bustling center of commerce.

Now of course they take to methods that are more violent then most people care for, but it's better then sitting around being robbed yourselves. And any asshole who spends their Bonus Time on a cargo ship sailing around the world pretty much has it coming anyway. Bonus Time says good for the Somali pirates, although we will be canceling our annual Bonus Cruise through the Indian Ocean.

OH and you know what? I was gonna make an AIDS joke in this article, but Somalia has one of the lowest HIV rates in all of Africa. And for that they get a gold star.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hmmmm . . . very empathetic - son of a fisherman? or son of a pirate?