Baby Smash!
A gigantic baby has been born in Indonesia. The baby is 24.4 inches long, and weighs in at 19.2 pounds, the largest baby ever born in Indonesia. Thankfully for the mother, the baby was delivered through c-section.
Doctors in Indonesia are blaming his 41 year old mother's diabetes for the baby's unusual size. Apparently high levels of glucose in the mother can be transferred to the baby, and result in abnormal size.
That's all good and fine, but here at Bonus Time we know the real culprit. It's clear that this baby has been sent here by none other than Super Earth. Clearly swept in during the dust storms of Sydney, the mother was impregnated by Super Eartian saboteurs, then quickly grew too large for the poor woman's brittle frame.
Bonus Time scientists are guessing that the baby will be a full grown mega killer in just a few months, and that it poses a clear and present danger to Bonus Time. Due to Super Earth's hyper gravity, and hellish at best conditions, we can only assume the baby will be much stronger, smarter, resilient, and have much cooler hair then your usual earthling.
What can the Bonus Time faithful do to help against the Super Earth threat? Ladies keep your vagina's safe, and free from any Super Earthican invaders. And gents, if you're expecting make sure to give the baby a second look when he slides out of mom. Here are some ways you can recognize a Super Earth infant:
Doctors in Indonesia are blaming his 41 year old mother's diabetes for the baby's unusual size. Apparently high levels of glucose in the mother can be transferred to the baby, and result in abnormal size.
That's all good and fine, but here at Bonus Time we know the real culprit. It's clear that this baby has been sent here by none other than Super Earth. Clearly swept in during the dust storms of Sydney, the mother was impregnated by Super Eartian saboteurs, then quickly grew too large for the poor woman's brittle frame.
Bonus Time scientists are guessing that the baby will be a full grown mega killer in just a few months, and that it poses a clear and present danger to Bonus Time. Due to Super Earth's hyper gravity, and hellish at best conditions, we can only assume the baby will be much stronger, smarter, resilient, and have much cooler hair then your usual earthling.
What can the Bonus Time faithful do to help against the Super Earth threat? Ladies keep your vagina's safe, and free from any Super Earthican invaders. And gents, if you're expecting make sure to give the baby a second look when he slides out of mom. Here are some ways you can recognize a Super Earth infant:
- Hunger that can be sated only be human blood
- Red Eyes that seem to pierce directly into ones soul
- Super Strength
- Scaly / Rock like growth around the joints and around the face
- Shitting other babies
No comments:
Post a Comment