Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Bonus Time Mailbag

Live there die there.

Ahoy Boners, today we have something new! Someone wrote me a letter! And because it was such an important letter I've decided to share it with all of you, in what will hopefully be an ongoing segment: Bonus Time Mailbag.

Dear Bonus Time,

I can't stop thinking about extras. I am pretty sure their powers are going to emerge in 2012, when the Mayans reanimate to rage a epic war on humanity and fulfill their own prophecy of the end of the world. The question is, what will the powers of the child warriors be?
I am writing something on this matter. I wake up at dawn nearly every morning, write a paragraph or 2 in some kind of mystical trance and then fall back asleep for 3 hours. I don't know what this means, but I will tell you that the handwriting on the page of Donnie Osmond notebook every morning is not mine. Not. Mine.

-Sara


Dear Sara,

Thank you for taking the time to write! I see that you've read our segment on Extras, children born during Bonus Time, and that you've taken quite an interest in them! The idea that Extras are going to one day get super powers is certainly one that is equal parts amazing, and completely realistic. Why would a group of people born during Bonus Time not be extra special?

The idea that they might one day rise up to crush this world is certainly possible, but by the time 2012 rolls around the oldest will only be 12, and easily distracted with a Jonas Brothers CD, or by peer pressuring them into trying drugs for the first time! I think you'll see that Extras won't really be all that big of a deal when 2012 rolls around. I will say though that your idea of Mayans re animating and destroying the world is certainly an interesting one. While Bonus Time doesn't officially support the idea that the world is going to end in 2012, that might be something for our scientists to look at!

As for your own sleep problems, there are a few things that may be going on here. The following things may be your problem:

  • You're not reading enough Bonus Time Blog before you go to bed. Bonus Time Blog has a patented formula that puts you at a sense of great ease, and happiness. This is proven to help people drift off to dreamland easier. Give it a shot!
  • You're possessed by an Extra! It's possible that you're possessed by an extra that has either manifested their powers and are trapped in a corporeal form, or a deceased extra has decided to use your body as a puppet to achieve it's own devious ends!
  • You are yourself a time displaced Extra, suffering from some type of amnesia, and your true subconscious form can only come out during dreams. If this is the case, fuck you!
I hope that my response has been both helpful and insightful!

Your Pal,
Stef

Dear Bonus Time,

During wolf weekend month, is it imperative to wear wolf t-shirts over the weekends?

I've been looking into buying a wolf shirt for a while now and have been weighing the options in terms of wear-ability in social and formal situations, comfort and possible magic powers. In my research I have found that "the three moon wolf shirt" has consistently received the highest praise from users whose opinions I trust and value.
Take a look here:
http://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Three-Short-Sleeve-Black/dp/B000NZW3KC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=apparel&qid=1262971785&sr=8-1

Do the editors of Bonus Time have any suggestions on equally wearable/ comfortable/ magic wolf shirts?

Thanks,

Max


Dear Max,

Thanks for taking the time to write us here at Bonus Time! As for your question there is really only one answer, yes, absolutely, and if you're not wearing a wolf t shirt over wolf weekend month prepare to get gum put in your hair.

Yes, gum.

The three moon wolf is a classic, which we refer to here at Bonus Time HQ as the "AMAZING." But there are of course many other options, and as you ARE being graded you should know that you are receiving points for originality. How bout this bad boy?

http://www.amazon.com/T-shirt-Cotton-ADULTS-Short-Sleeve/dp/B000I7Q6U8/ref=pd_sbs_a_4

Fantastic if you're ridiculously patriotic, and who isn't?

http://www.amazon.com/T-Shirt-Mountain-Evolution-Cotton-Sleeve/dp/B001UK8ZLK/ref=pd_sbs_a_1


I liked this one because it shows the inner beast that's inside all of us, clawing to get out and attack as we impatiently on so many Starbucks lines.

I hope these shirt suggestions have helped you get on track, and that you'll be able to pick a Wolf t shirt that not only represents you, but the fact that you love wolves so much that you're willing to look like you live in your mom's basement. Happy hunting, tiger ... ur, wolf...guy...!

Sincerely,
Stef

That's all for the mailbag for now! Drop us a line at bonustimes@gmail.com (note: times, not time) if there's anything you're wondering and I'll get back to you, or just chime in the comments section below!

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