Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Bonus Time Goes Green Day 2

Yum!

Ahoy, Boners! Time for Day 2 of Bonus Time Going Green! Today we're going to discuss everyone's favorite futuristic food source; Man!

It's no secret that there is a serious food shortage on this planet, and that said shortage is seriously screwing with people's Bonus Time. Some people might argue for alternative forms of farming, such as farming on roof tops of cities, some might say increase cattle or poultry breeding, others would look at their own right arm and salivate. And why not?

Now I'm not saying we should go out and invest in wholesale slaughter of human beings. This isn't some kind of Apocalyptic every man for himself scenario, more an idea for recycling, safe recycling. An average human male likely has at least 100 pounds of edible meat on him at the time of his death, so why should we just throw that body in the ground for worms to eat? People are much cooler than worms, we have hair!

If we all knew we were going to be eaten one day it might inspire us to take better care of our bodies as well. If you know that one day you're going to be sliced up and dined upon, wouldn't you take better care of yourself? I daresay it would be down right embarrassing to be someone's dish that they turned away because the cut was too fatty, or because the aftertaste was too eerily similar to that of White Castle Burgers. Hell, eating our own population could actually end up fighting obesity in the long term as well.

This would also alleviate the stress on our nations already overcrowded graveyard system. Did you know that some of the most high profile graveyards in the country have a 10+ year long waiting list to get into? That high profile gravesites can sometimes cost more than a home itself? And isn't it everyday that we hear in the news, an ashamed parent admitting they've pissed away their child's college savings to secure themselves a coveted burial plot?

It's time to fight back against world hunger, and graveyard overpopulation, and start eating our dearly departed.


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