An Important PSA from Bonus Time

Yeaaaaaaaaaaa Get Money!

It's 2010 folks, and we here at Bonus Time wouldn't feel right if we didn't remind you of one important thing you may have forgotten! It's time to get a new calendar. With enjoyment of Bonus Time comes one key that you may have been overlooking, proper time management. Nothing helps with this quite like a good old fashioned calendar. Map out your time, this week you might be working on your Fushion engine plans, next you may be working on your age halting serum, whatever it is your doing with your Bonus Time, it's important to be on top of things and realize just exactly what it is you are doing.

So go get a new calendar! Everyday that you don't you are wasting more and more money, and that totally sucks, you're not an idiot right? But what kind of calendar is it that suits you? Well this is a very important question, and one that can only be made after hours of deep upside down meditation. We decided though to give you a few pointers.

• Get a calendar with a lot of space on it - Not SPACE space persay (like outerspace), but space for you to plot out exactly what it is you'd like to do during the New Future. If your calendar is jumbled with ridiculous holidays, or tiny spaces for each day, then you are not getting the most out of your calendar, or your Bonus Time!

• Pick a theme that fits you - Planning on making some kind of wretched cat / man hybird during the New Future? Get a Kitten calendar to help inspire you! Planning to conquer a foreign nation? Get a calendar that shows the great wealth this land has waiting for you! Also, what month were you born in? It might be a good idea to locate that month on the calendar, and make sure that it has a theme that's right for you. Are you getting a super hot babes of Bonus Time calendar? Make sure the babe on your birth month is the babe for you!

A new calendar is a great way to make a fresh start in a new year, and a New Future. There's nothing more clean slate then a new calendar, so go get one, NOW!

6,453,628,000

For some reason this is one of the top results when you google image search "2005"

Welcome back to another edition of shit that happened during Bonus Time. Another repost from our ridiculously popular facebook fan page. And even though it hasn't been updated in months, you should still check it out. But I digress, here's 2005's Bonus Worthy shit:

2005
The Year of Discovery

January 20 – Ireland completes metrication.

February 15 – The Internet site YouTube goes online.

March 3 – Millionaire Steve Fossett breaks a world record by completing the first non-stop, non-refueled, solo flight around the world in the Virgin Atlantic GlobalFlyer.

April 6 – The first 13th root calculation of a 200-digit number is computed by Frenchman Alexis Lemaire.

June 17 – Because of "quadruple-witching" options and futures expiration, the New York Stock Exchange sees the heaviest first-hour trading on record. 704 million shares are traded between 9:30-10:30 A.M. (1.92 billion shares for the day).

July 2 – Live 8, a set of 10 simultaneous concerts, takes place throughout the world, raising interest in the Make Poverty History campaign.

August 12 – The Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter is launched.

November 13 – Andrew Stimpson, a 25-year old British man, is reported as the first person proven to have been 'cured' of HIV.

December 31 – Another second is added, 23:59:60, called a leap second, to end the year 2005.

The December one is really the coolest. I mean that's Bonus Time right there, how can you even argue that?

2004 The Year My Beer Gut Was Born!

Slow news day today, so here's some Bonusy stuff that took place in 2004. My personal favorite is the exploding whale. Fuck "Year of Rice" let's rename 2004 International Year of the Exploding Whale, who's with me?

2004

International Year of Rice

January 26 – A whale explodes in Tainan City, Taiwan, while being transported through the town to a university for a necropsy.[1]

February 4 – Facebook was founded at Cambridge, Massachussetts.

April 29 – The last Oldsmobile rolls off of the assembly line.

May 16 – The We Are the Future Concert takes place in Rome, organized by Quincy Jones in partnership with the Glocal Forum.

June 12 – A 1.3 kg chondrite type meteorite strikes a house in Ellerslie, New Zealand, causing serious damage but no injuries.

July 1 – The Cassini-Huygens spacecraft arrives at Saturn?

August 1 – A supermarket fire in Asunción, Paraguay, kills about 400 and leaves over 100 missing.

September 23 – Mount St. Helens becomes active again.

October 24 – Brazil successfully launches its first rocket into space. The universe is now hot.

November 28 – A male Po'o-uli dies of avian malaria at the Maui Bird Conservation Center in Olinda before it can breed, making the species in all probability extinct.

Bonus Time Events

Again a Facebook repost -- I know, it's a busy Friday. And although I know everyone who reads Bonus blog has surely memorized all of these facts about 2002 already, we're gonna repost them just in case you need a little.... refresher.

2002
International Year of Ecotourism and Mountains

January 1 – Euro notes and coins are issued in France, Spain, Germany, Italy, Portugal, Greece, Finland, Luxembourg, Belgium, Austria, Ireland and the Netherlands.

March 14 – 125 vehicles are involved in a massive pile up on Interstate 75 in Ringgold, Georgia.

April 18 – The discovery of a new insect order, Mantophasmatodea, is announced.

May 26 – The Mars Odyssey finds signs of large water ice deposits on the planet Mars.

June 15 – Near Earth Asteroid 2002 MN misses the planet by 75,000 miles (120,000 km), about 1/3 the distance to the moon.

July 19 – Hail kills 25 and injures hundreds in the Chinese province of Henan.

August 7 – Tama-chan, a bearded seal native to the Arctic, is discovered in Tama River in Tokyo.

October 7 – The discovery of Quaoar is announced.

Nov 10 - According to the Guardian newspaper, Gauthier Hulot of the Paris Geophysical Institute has discovered evidence of a reduction of the Earth's magnetic field over the last two hundred years. It is possible that this may be a prelude to a reversal of polarity of the Earth's magenetic field over the next few hundred years.

Dec 6 - Pi has been calculated to 1.24 trillion digits. Professor Yasumasa Kanada and nine other researchers at the Information Technology Center at the University of Tokyo have set the new world record.

Bonus Time Events

So on Facebook we've got a section where it's Bonus related events that have taken place in the years prior to Bonus Time beginning.  They're all contained in a giant list, in a section a lot of people probably naturally wouldn't click on.  What does this mean?  We're reposting it on the blog, because no one's probably ever read all of them.  I'm gonna do this year by year though, so it's a little easier to handle.  This should give you the reader a little more insight into what's been special about the last 9 years, and help you live your life to it's most Bonus stuffed potential.

Because it would be wierd to start with 2005, we're going to start with 2000:

2000
International Year for the Culture of Peace

January 1 – The world enters Y2K without serious, widespread computer failures, despite fears to the contrary.  Bonus Time begins.

February 13 – The final original Peanuts comic strip is published, following the death of its creator, Charles Schulz.

March 1 – The Constitution of Finland is rewritten.

April 22 – In a predawn raid, federal agents seize 6-year old Elián González from his relatives' home in Miami, Florida and fly him to his Cuban father in Washington, DC, ending one of the most publicized custody battles in U.S. history.

May 11 – The billionth living person in India is born.

June 26 – A preliminary draft of genomes, as part of the Human Genome Project, is finished.

July 2 – France beats Italy 2-1 to win Euro 2000 with a golden goal.

August 8 – The Confederate submarine H.L. Hunley is raised to the surface after 136 years on the ocean floor.

September 14 – Microsoft releases Windows ME.

October 31 - DJ Screw's last Halloween.

December 31 – The Millennium Dome closes its doors one year to the day of its opening.

That wasn't that bad, was it?

Bonus Time Lifestyles

To some people realizing that it's Bonus Time right now can be a fantastic revelation. Some people upon having this revelation have a sense that their life is complete, that they finally understand why the world is the way it is, and why they live their life like they do. For others however it's not such an easy road. The idea that it is Bonus Time right now can be somewhat overwhelming for certain people. Some are upset that they've lived the last 9 years unaware of what was going on, desiring to make up for lost time and live their lives as Bonus-y as possible.

It is for these people that we've decided to put together this thread. We hope to focus on Bonus Time and the idea of helping people live their lives during Bonus Time. Today we're going to start with a few pointers on how to get by if you've just become aware of Bonus Time, or ideas that more seasoned Bonus veterans can use to re assert their love for Bonus Time.


Start Telling Other People About Bonus Time:
This is easy enough, but many people do not realize that this is one of the areas where they likely neglect Bonus Time the very most. Bonus Time comes up at every moment in every single day of our lives, because of course it is Bonus Time right now. If you are not finding ways to spread the word, and to include Bonus Time in every day conversation, then you're not only cheating yourself, but you're cheating those around you. And cheaters are fucking assholes, so if that's what you're doing go fuck yourself. Some tips for spreading the word about Bonus Time:

• Interrupt other people's conversations to talk to them about Bonus Time.

This one may seem like a bit of a stretch at first, but following the year 2000 we've all been living on borrowed time. Most people realize this somewhere in the back of their heads, but have yet to fully come to terms with this in their lives. This means that they are essentially on "auto-pilot" and have been for the last 9 years. What this equates to is 99% of what they talk about in their everyday lives being complete and utter bull shit.
Who gives a fuck about your new shirt, your children's after school sports activity, or the fat chick you picked up at the after hours bar because you couldn't bear to cry yourself to sleep on another lonely saturday night? No one, that's who. Save yourself from incredible boredom, and help turn a friends life around by completely disregarding whatever shit they try to talk to you about, and ram some Bonus Time down their throat.

• Use the "Broken Record"

If you have a friend who you feel really should be getting Bonus Time but isn't, it's important to bring the idea up to them as much as possible. Nothing is more successful then not just interrupting things a friend is talking about, but constantly doing so, and on top of that regularly bringing up Bonus Time at any point where conversation is possible. Go as far as to take it a step further, steal your friends ideas and proclaim that you had them first, or that the ideas were originally created by Bonus Time. If there is anything better then forcing your opinions on someone else, it's telling them that their opinions are not even their own, and that they're lying thieves for having them.

• Sign every phone number in your phone book up for the Bonus Time Blip

You are probably aware of the Bonus Time Blip (and if you are not feel free to e-mail us at BonusTimes@gmail.com to sign up!) the official Bonus Time cellphone newsletter. For those who are not I will briefly go over the blip.
The Bonus Time blip serves to send Bonus Time related messages to Bonus Time fans at specifically and strategically chosen moments to inspire to live their lives in a more Bonus Time specific style. Most often done on a weekend to get people super ultra pumped up, the Bonus Time Blip serves to send a positive message to brighten peoples days, and their Bonus Time. Everyone who has ever gotten a Bonus Time blip agrees that they have never been, and arguably never will be more glad then the first time they got a blip.
Wow, even I'm floored by that description! Sounds like you should be a part of this, so again e-mail us at BonusTimes@gmail.com if you'd like to sign up, and if you are already signed up feel free to e-mail us all of the cell phone numbers in your phone so that you can sign up your friends and loved ones. It's pretty much like signing someone up for a charity but not a completely stupid waste of time, you won't regret it.

Hopefully the three ideas above will help you transition into a more "Bonus-y" lifestyle. That's it for now, but we will have more suggestions later down the line.

Bonus Time is happening

This will be the first of hopefully an on going series.  A lot of people are surprised to hear that it is Bonus Time, but at the same time openly welcome the idea.  As you likely already know, because it's written up there a little bit, and if you're reading this you're already a fan of the facebook, that Bonus Time started in the year 2000 when the world was supposed to end but didn't.  That's a lot to swallow all at once isn't it?  But when you think about it, not really.  You see a lot of crazy shit has gone on since the year 2000, yeah you're gettin me now aren't you, maybe it's the type of shit that wouldn't necessarily go on?  Unless maybe the world was supposed to end already?  Yeah, now you got me.  

So we're going to take some time on the blog to talk about some of the crazier shit that the Bonus Time staff feels has gone down since 2000, to help catch you the faithful reader up.  Because I am lazy, the first one is going to be a repost from the bonus time facebook.  I'm reposting it because you probably didn't read it, and I thought it was funny and so did my mom so fuck you guys.  (I'm only mentioning it's a repost because the first paragraph will seem out of place unless I do.)

By now it is evident that all members of Bonus Time have surely read and memorized all of the super ultra important Bonus Time facts. As these are really important, we have decided to focus on a few of the facts in a more in depth manner, in hopes of exploring further the nature of Bonus Time, and creating a dialogue between members regarding Bonus Time. The first fact we will focus on will come from the year 2000:

February 13 – The final original Peanuts comic strip is published, following the death of its creator, Charles Schulz.

This fact has clear implications across the Bonus Time spectrum, as the Peanuts comic strip coming to an end thusly ended the mad ravings of a man bent on a vision of a post apocalyptic future that has yet to come. We are all familiar with Peanuts, Charles Shultz' interpretation of the world after a nuclear fall out, with deformed malnourished and radiation sick children struggling to survive in the wastelands of our once great nation.

From the first blasts of attempted vocal contact from their mutated elders, their interaction with grossly mutated and at times highly intelligent species (read Snoopy, Woodstock), and from the last hair that fell from the balding, disfigured head of Charlie Brown, it was clear what we were looking at. Peanuts in it's own way did a fantastic job of showing us just how terrible man kind can truly be if left to his own devices. It is in Bonus Time that we must learn from these lessons, and use our Time to avoid the future that was depicted in this hellish comic strip.