God bless my ability (or lack thereof) to edit images.Friends I'm sure you've realized by now, and are incredibly excited about the fact that the Bonus Time Blog has gone green! That's right, almost every font on this site is now Green, in preparation for the greatest holiday on Earth, St. Patrick's Day. to support the Earth or some shit our wonderful Planet Earth!
Now you may be asking yourself a very serious questions right now. Why should I give a shit about the Earth? It's Bonus Time isn't it? If we're living on borrowed time, why do we care?
And those are very good questions! It's true, taking care of the Earth has typically been for nerds that just want to bitch about a subject that people will actually listen to (unlike their Star Wars collectibles), and it's a science fact that littering is ridiculously fun, and don't even get me started on burning garbage!
This monkey is smoking, which is cool. This monkey probably litters too.
Now you may be asking yourself a very serious questions right now. Why should I give a shit about the Earth? It's Bonus Time isn't it? If we're living on borrowed time, why do we care?
And those are very good questions! It's true, taking care of the Earth has typically been for nerds that just want to bitch about a subject that people will actually listen to (unlike their Star Wars collectibles), and it's a science fact that littering is ridiculously fun, and don't even get me started on burning garbage!
This monkey is smoking, which is cool. This monkey probably litters too.So why should you give a shit about the Planet Earth. Well there's a simple math equation behind that friend, more time on Earth = More Bonus Time in general. And until we get our fleet of space ships up and going, we're gonna have to take care of this planet. It's because of this that I've decided to share some tips on help keeping the environment safe and clean.
You see putting out recyclables in the habitat of a homeless person is like putting blood in the water, just like a shark they're going to be all over it almost instantly. But Bonus Time, you may be saying, the homeless just take the bottles to get recycled themselves, they're helping. Well that's where you'd be wrong.
You see in our "Going Green" effort, Bonus Time has captured several feral homeless, and subjected them to a series of degrading, humiliating, and sub-human experiments. In our studies we have determined that homeless do not actually turn these bottles in, instead they feed off of them. You see it's only a healthy and constant diet of shredded glass that can properly keep a homeless persons insanity levels right where they want them, at their absolute peak.
It's also a common misconception that the physiology of a homeless person is similar to a regular human beings. Bonus Time scientists have also determined that this is not the case, and instead of disposing of waste the way regular, and hilarious way that other humans do, homeless create two completely separate bi-products when they're done eating your recycling; Green House Gas, and Anthrax. Anthrax that they then immediately trade to Al Quaida in exchange for cheap wine, and cardboard to make their signs out of.
That's right folks, not only are the homeless a threat to all of the Earth, but to America itself.
Next time you see a homeless peacefully passed out in a puddle of their own filth and biological weaponry, destroy them, with extreme prejudice.
That's your tip for today, check back soon because we'll have more tips for keeping Green as the Bonus Time winds on!
- Destroy Homeless People
You see putting out recyclables in the habitat of a homeless person is like putting blood in the water, just like a shark they're going to be all over it almost instantly. But Bonus Time, you may be saying, the homeless just take the bottles to get recycled themselves, they're helping. Well that's where you'd be wrong.
You see in our "Going Green" effort, Bonus Time has captured several feral homeless, and subjected them to a series of degrading, humiliating, and sub-human experiments. In our studies we have determined that homeless do not actually turn these bottles in, instead they feed off of them. You see it's only a healthy and constant diet of shredded glass that can properly keep a homeless persons insanity levels right where they want them, at their absolute peak.
It's also a common misconception that the physiology of a homeless person is similar to a regular human beings. Bonus Time scientists have also determined that this is not the case, and instead of disposing of waste the way regular, and hilarious way that other humans do, homeless create two completely separate bi-products when they're done eating your recycling; Green House Gas, and Anthrax. Anthrax that they then immediately trade to Al Quaida in exchange for cheap wine, and cardboard to make their signs out of.
That's right folks, not only are the homeless a threat to all of the Earth, but to America itself.
Next time you see a homeless peacefully passed out in a puddle of their own filth and biological weaponry, destroy them, with extreme prejudice.
That's your tip for today, check back soon because we'll have more tips for keeping Green as the Bonus Time winds on!
1 comment:
by going green, does that then mean we all ... turn green too? that would be something
Post a Comment