HAHAHAHA THAT BIRD IS WEARING A SHIRT!
Bad news for those of you who enjoy a frosty margarita on a warm summer day. According to this article, sent in by reader Rachel, your days may be numbered.
Scientists aboard Russian research vessel Professor Khromov found some shocking developments in their most recent arctic census journey. The scientists were able to collect water, ocean mud, and sealife samples all from an area that normally should be completely covered in ice.
In fact, in 2004 the 'station' they stopped at was 350 miles south of where they stopped this time around, the distance being covered completely in ice. This time however it was open water, and as mission coordinator Kevin Wood put it, "There isn’t enough ice here to make a margarita,” with water open on all sides.
Now this mission is sent out to study the effects of global warming, but here at Bonus Time we know there are far deadlier threats to the planet Earth. This however is not something to be taken sitting down.
If we can't enjoy frozen drinks in the arctic circle of all places, then where can we? Is this the beginning of a domino effect? Are daiquiris next? What about pena coladas? And what of Margaritaville? Without Margaritaville we'll lose Jimmy Buffet, if that guy isn't tanked 100% of the time one has to assume that at this point he'll explode. Without him there's no elevator music! And oh god the Hawaiian shirts, what will we do with all of the Hawaiian shirts?
Hang in there, big guy!
On top of all of this there's no ignoring the fact that turning ice, booze, and fruit into drinks is one of the better ways to live your Bonus Time, summer or not. As you can see readers, this situation is dire indeed.
Something has to be done about this, maybe the old Futurama method of dunking a giant ice cube into the arctic seas can save our favorite frozen concoctions. Regardless, a lack of ice for getting drunk is probably #2 on the list of most clear and present threats to Bonus Time.
Jimmy Buffet could not be reached for comment at press time.
Scientists aboard Russian research vessel Professor Khromov found some shocking developments in their most recent arctic census journey. The scientists were able to collect water, ocean mud, and sealife samples all from an area that normally should be completely covered in ice.
In fact, in 2004 the 'station' they stopped at was 350 miles south of where they stopped this time around, the distance being covered completely in ice. This time however it was open water, and as mission coordinator Kevin Wood put it, "There isn’t enough ice here to make a margarita,” with water open on all sides.
Now this mission is sent out to study the effects of global warming, but here at Bonus Time we know there are far deadlier threats to the planet Earth. This however is not something to be taken sitting down.
If we can't enjoy frozen drinks in the arctic circle of all places, then where can we? Is this the beginning of a domino effect? Are daiquiris next? What about pena coladas? And what of Margaritaville? Without Margaritaville we'll lose Jimmy Buffet, if that guy isn't tanked 100% of the time one has to assume that at this point he'll explode. Without him there's no elevator music! And oh god the Hawaiian shirts, what will we do with all of the Hawaiian shirts?
Hang in there, big guy!
On top of all of this there's no ignoring the fact that turning ice, booze, and fruit into drinks is one of the better ways to live your Bonus Time, summer or not. As you can see readers, this situation is dire indeed.
Something has to be done about this, maybe the old Futurama method of dunking a giant ice cube into the arctic seas can save our favorite frozen concoctions. Regardless, a lack of ice for getting drunk is probably #2 on the list of most clear and present threats to Bonus Time.
Jimmy Buffet could not be reached for comment at press time.
